Swift Core Team to Swift bloggers: “Please, for the love of all things holy, find a different color than orange”

“Surely some of you can pick a different color? Please?”

Paul Hudson April 1st 2022 @twostraws

Early this morning Apple published an unprecedented tech note aimed at Swift bloggers around the world, pleading them with them to be more creative with their color choices.

Ed Kermenek, the Swift project lead, had this to say: “Look, we get it: we chose orange for the logo way back in 2014, and that obviously led some people to think of it as the Official Swift Color or something, but come on – surely some of you can pick a different color? Please?”

Taking a break from his work on Swift Enterprise Edition, Jay Gorff took a more hardline stance: “Frankly, I never want to see the color orange again. I can’t eat oranges, carrots, or pumpkins any more, and you jerks have completely ruined Cheetos for me too. Wait… it’s almost sunset, and I can already feel my stomach getting into a knot thinking of the colors – do you see what you monsters have done?!”

Bolly Horla, who is somehow still not on the Swift Core Team despite being more than qualified, pulled out a tabbed binder of colors the team considered more appropriate. “How about a nice blue,” she said, “or some shade of chartreuse? Ooh, why not try plaid? I bet we could solve this with some kind of @Color property wrapper…”

Steve Prestoff, currently working to make Swift compile faster, took a break to add: “Chickens.” We’re not sure if that means he likes the color of chickens, the taste of chickens, or something else, but at least he’s not on a hor— oh, wait, he’s back on a horse again.